Of all the mildly humiliating moments in my life, this one might take gold. I was strutting down Rozengracht in my new pointy-toed kitten heels - the perfect blend of pain and aesthetic - when it suddenly felt like the sidewalk disappeared beneath me. (Which, if you've seen the current state of Rozengracht, isn’t entirely impossible.)

I’ve always loved romanticising my life. Thinking of it like a TV show. Wondering: what would the audience be screaming at me right now? What ships would they have? Never in a million years did I think I'd end up like Rachel in Friendswith a guy telling me he didn’t regret kissing another girl (he actually ‘liked’ it), because ‘WE WERE ON A BREAK’.

And just like that, I was single…