The revenge glow-up is a scam (but I did it anyway)
And then, I just stood there, wondering how you can stop recognising someone you once loved so deeply - after only a few weeks. The song Somebody That I Used to Know has been looping in my head like a bad soundtrack. Fitting, sure. But still, incredibly fucking annoying.
Crying in front of a kebab shop
Of all the mildly humiliating moments in my life, this one might take gold. I was strutting down Rozengracht in my new pointy-toed kitten heels - the perfect blend of pain and aesthetic - when it suddenly felt like the sidewalk disappeared beneath me. (Which, if you've seen the current state of Rozengracht, isn’t entirely impossible.)
The one where they were on a break…
I’ve always loved romanticising my life. Thinking of it like a TV show. Wondering: what would the audience be screaming at me right now? What ships would they have? Never in a million years did I think I'd end up like Rachel in Friendswith a guy telling me he didn’t regret kissing another girl (he actually ‘liked’ it), because ‘WE WERE ON A BREAK’.
And just like that, I was single…